Politeness in conversation

One useful property of indirect speech is that it can convey politeness.

Consider these two statements:

A: "Can you please shut the window?"
B: "Shut the window now!"

Statement A is obviously more polite than statement B. However, B is more direct and to the point. It would seem quite rude to phrase it as such, so we resort to the more polite indirect way (A). Even though statement A is asking a Yes/No question, it is actually a request to perform an action.

Types of politeness

There are two basic kinds of politeness: positive and negative politeness.

Positive politeness: respects a person's right to be understood, showing sympathy
  • Letting people know that we enjoy their presence
  • Liking their personality
  • Becoming interested in their well-being
Example: "Let's get together again sometime!"

Negative politeness:
often involves deferring to others and respects their privacy
  • Avoid intruding on other people's lives
  • Don't be overly inquisitive about their activities
  • Don't impose our presence on others
Example: "Excuse me sir, do you have the time?"
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